The Solutions Focus
+44 (0) 1727 843 820
  • Home
  • Services
    • Training >
      • Getting The Best From Feedback
      • Effective Conversations
      • Solutions-Focused Conversations for the Workplace
      • Bite Sized Sessions
      • Introduction to SF Coaching
      • Team Building
      • Leadership Development
      • Manager as Coach
      • Masterclasses
      • Productive Meetings
      • Leading Change through Powerful Conversations
      • Difficult to Constructive Conversations
      • Building Resilience
      • Increasing Engagement
      • Raising Performance
      • What Works Well
      • Positively Speaking The Course
    • Coaching >
      • Executive and Business Coaching
      • Team Coaching
      • Online Coaching
      • Coaching Conundrums
      • Supervision
    • Consulting >
      • Change Projects
      • Strategy Workshops
      • Appraisal Design
      • 360 Degrees Feedback
      • SF Professional Development Programme
      • Licensing
    • Speaking >
      • The Book
      • Keynotes and Presentations
      • Conferences
  • About Us
    • Our Approach
    • OSKAR Coaching Model
    • Six SIMPLE Principles
    • Solutions TOOLS
    • Our Clients
  • Resources
    • Articles
    • Blog
    • Books
    • Coaching Cards
    • The SF Community
    • Inspiring Quotes
  • Shop
  • Contact Us
    • Newsletter
    • Social Media
  • Link Page

​How can a coach help a client be positive when it’s such a negatively-described world?

11/3/2020

0 Comments

 
Picture
Successful coaching depends on the words we use with our clients – the words in our questions or comments, the words our clients find themselves saying in the sessions.
 
I wonder sometimes if we are living in such a problem-saturated environment, that we can’t always find words for the problem-free opposites.
 
If we are talking to a client who describes themself as ‘depressed' or ‘anxious', we know that ‘depressed' or ‘anxious' is what they don’t want, but it’s far from clear that they are seeking ‘ecstasy’ or ‘at total peace with the world’ as their goal. I might guess they are aiming for something a bit more day-to-day OK. Perhaps a touch more dynamic than 'not depressed’ or even - a fateful word that brings its own troubles about judgement - 'normal’. 'Functioning well' may be better, but still seems dully inadequate. 
 
Part of our work as coaches is to expand our clients’ world, in part by expanding their vocabulary. Our conversation co-constructs their sense of preferable possibilities and – given the vocabulary challenge - it may be quite a struggle for both parties. Generating worthwhile descriptions of the preferred alternative to the unwanted current situation can be painstaking and slow.  But the struggle is OK: as long as the client sticks with the conversation, then they still want to work with you.
 
People are fluent in ‘problem'.  And not so fluent in ‘instead’.  Our questions in the Solutions Focus repertoire are mostly in the language of ‘instead’, and we are encouraging clients to  answer as best they can - during this whole process of building up their ‘instead’ vocabulary. They might say, 'I’ve never thought of it like that before’.  If you were to give up before that point, you’ve mislaid your belief in that client and their capacity to change.  And it’s our professional duty to stick with this faith in the client’s competence to describe and thus start to inhabit a more positive world.

0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Book
    Care
    Change
    Coaching
    Comedy
    Complexity
    Conference
    Constructivism
    Consulting
    Conversation
    Decision Making
    Education
    Engagement
    Facilitation
    Feedback
    Future
    Goals
    HR
    Improvisation
    Interview
    Journalism
    Leadership
    Learning
    Management
    Marketing
    Meetings
    Mistakes
    Monday
    Neuroscience
    Organisation
    Organisational Development
    OSKAR
    Performance
    Philosophy
    Police
    Politics
    Problems
    Project Management
    Psychology
    Questions
    Resilience
    Scale
    SFBT
    SIMPLE
    Sport
    Stress
    Supervision
    TOOLS
    Top Tips
    Training
    Video

    Archives

    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    March 2019
    January 2019
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    November 2014
    June 2014
    April 2014
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    February 2013
    December 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    November 2011
    October 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    September 2010
    August 2010

Home
Services
Training
Coaching
Consultancy
Speaking


About Us
Our Approach
OSKAR
​SF Tools
Our Clients
Resources
Blog
Books 
Conferences
SF Community
Shop
Contact Us
The Solutions Focus
Tel +44 (0)1727 843 820
      
Email: contact@thesolutionsfocus.co.uk

     The Solutions Focus © 2014   All Rights Reserved
  Terms of Use   Privacy