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How to be helpfully optimistic

28 Jan 2025 | Culture, Coaching, Solution Talk

It’s easy for coaches to get carried away with excitement about what our clients might achieve.

Our colleague at Brief, Evan George, wisely says, ‘Don’t colonise the enthusiasm’. He means it’s preferable to allow room for the client to take the lead in enjoying the change they are contemplating or experiencing.

We lose that self-motivation if we are consistently more enthusiastic than the client. As another SF guru, Insoo Kim Berg, said, our stance is that of ‘Leading from one step behind’.

You might, for example, start with a mildly optimistic stance in your conversations. Then notice how the client feels about their prospects. If they are gung-ho, you can be go-slow. You might temper extravagent fantasies with your pragmatic caution.

But equally don’t join in with a despairing client. A situation agreed to be hopeless is one to give up on – so there always has to be hope during coaching. A handy question if things are not going so well, is to ask, ‘What gives you any hope here that matters can improve?’

By cautiously and respectfully embodying your belief in a client, and your trust in their expertise, they’ll be supported in their increasing confidence. You are deploying whatever authority you represent to give them permission to make progress.